


I'm (not) Feeling 22

by Teal_Rainbeau



Series: Garrett and McClain's Misadventures starring Kogane [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Injury, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, Home Invasion, Humor, Keith (Voltron) Is Not Okay, Keith's Birthday 2020, Lance (Voltron) Being an Idiot, Lance (Voltron) Is Not Okay, M/M, Nothing Sexual, Nudity, Prank gone bad, Surprise Party, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teal_Rainbeau/pseuds/Teal_Rainbeau
Summary: Keith has no real plans for his birthday; after all, his friends all have late classes and other obligations.All he thinks he's gonna do is enjoy a dollar store cupcake with some mediocre ice cream and call it a day with Kosmo: home invasions are NOT on par for his special day...Rated teen for Profanity, blood, and non-sexual nudity.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Garrett and McClain's Misadventures starring Kogane [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1339909
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	I'm (not) Feeling 22

**Author's Note:**

> I said I wasn't gonna upload anything else on here until I finished my chapter stories, but I think you would really enjoy this. I first wrote this on my Instagram (which has a lot more of my writing and art that you won't find here on AO3)
> 
> [My Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/teal_rainbeau/)  
> 

One five and two zeros.

Just one Lincoln.

It’s not like Keith hasn’t been broke before at the end of the month. But this time felt different, like a wet blanket on his nerves. The smear of gray coloring the skies did little to lift his spirits.

He was twenty-two today. Maybe in some other culture the double digits meant something significant.

He usually wasn’t much of a snack cake person, but the twin package of yellow cupcakes with the looped icing print seemed appetizing enough. Candles were a couple of aisles down next to the party supplies. That’s three dollars left to get some small carton of vanilla ice cream. Hopefully it wasn’t the one that tasted like water mixed with whipped cream…

Two left. What else was he missing?

Dinner could be a can of chili. There was rice at home.

A sigh pressed from his lips and followed fond memories of his father’s cornbread casserole. Cornbread, homemade chili, and a bowl of shredded cheddar cheese ornamented their small table. It was the first time at age six that Keith discovered his arch nemesis: sour cream. Best meal always, worst bout of nausea ever.

Keith never believed in magic, so snapping his fingers and willing his parents to fly out to Santa Balmera was a pitiful _negative_. Talking to them on the phone wasn’t quite enough today…

He allowed the chipper cadence of the cashier’s voice to warm him over a little bit. He mentioned that the candles belonged to him, not some friend. Lance had a late seminar and Hunk was with Shay at some activism event in the Humanities building. Even Katie was grounded for sneaking off to some frat party, which, _really?_

“Well you know what? It’s Friday. You’re healthy and handsome, so that’s crossed off the list!” She smiled, creases in her cheeks deepening.

A chuckled tumbled humbly from his chest. “Thanks, Patty.”

“Anytime.”

=====

The fluorescent beams of his kitchen lights felt like an optical nuisance once he stepped into the doorway. Even more blinding was a flash of dark fur racing toward him and knocking him out of his shoes before he could step out of them himself.

He giggled as he leaned against the wall and allowed the Tamaskan to shower his cheeks and chin with licks. He held up his dollar store bag, “Alright. Gonna make us something. But you can’t share dessert with me.”

Kosmo whimpered, peering into him with such hurt dwindling in those large marbles of his.

“Okay, fine. But I’m removing the icing, got it?”

His eyes widened with an assault on his nasal passages that reeked of sweat and dirt. He did make runs on his day off, hitting the gym just before the store.

Okay. Shower, then dinner.

=====

Between the moment Keith turned on the shower and the moment he finished his session, something about the lighting between his hallway and the kitchen view appeared dimmer. Much dimmer.

“Lance?”

Nothing but white noise humming in his ears from silence. He _knew_ he left the kitchen lights on before he hopped in the shower. After tightening the towel around his waist, he marched to the light switch and flicked it up, cursing under his breath as his bones rattled painfully from his dripping hair.

He crossed to the living room where the thermostat read a tepid fifty-eight. Only one asshole could’ve mess with this…His teeth clattered painfully, so he furiously turned the dial back to a reasonable temperature.

Lance was here somewhere, he knew it! He called his name to a silent reception.

“NOT in the mood, Lance!”

Now the anger was simmering into a mass of nerves. Once he returned to his room and flopped on the corner of his mattress, his fingers angrily demanded an explanation for what the hell was going on.

**_Lance:_** _Baby, I’m still in class, remember?_

Oh, shit.

=====

With his earbuds plugged into his phone, he smiled as naturally as he comfortably could once Lance’s face showed up on the video chat. His surroundings were well-lit save for some classrooms down the hall sealed in darkness.

_“What’s up, birthday boy? Whoa, it is so dark in there…”_

“I know, our electric bill was kinda high this month.” He worked to keep the shivers from penetrating his speech.

_“You okay?”_

“Uh, yeah. Just playing hide and seek with Kosmo.”

Lance’s mouth tilted with an unspoken scold, _“Did you just get out the shower or something?”_

All Keith did was tilt his head with a forced grin. 

_“Have fun. And dry off before you get sick, young man!”_

Call ended. That confirmed his worst fear. He wasn’t going to call the police and eventually alarm Lance. And Lance really did not need to come home anyway. This was not Keith’s first home invasion: just stay silent, remain calm.

_Always keep something sharp under your bed,_ he remembered his mother telling him one day while watching some sad crime of passion unfolding on a TV documentary.

Maybe he should have dried off and thrown something on should this whole scenario go awry. Except any sound of sliding from drawers was suicide if he were caught.

As long as his intruder was not armed with a firearm he could whistle to Kosmo and alert him to attack. Where _was_ he, anyway?

_Oh, God._

_Was he chloroformed? Poisoned?_

Anxiety gurgled into his ear drums until his willpower managed to temper some of it. Time to strike this bastard with the fear of whatever god they believed in!

A sickening rattle of silverware and plates brought his chest’s movement to a brief standstill.

Keith waddled slowly and bent down until he was at a walking crouch. Fire tickled his throat as he steadied the depth of his breathing and exhaled through his nose. His hand gripped the ornate handle of his five-inch dagger. The chill of the kitchen floor created pins and needles underneath his bare arches. 

It could have been the adrenaline draining from his system and leaving a bed of disillusion, but Keith swore his brain was creating a picture of Lance McClain actually _catching_ the dagger before it could plunge into his throat.

Keith gasped so hard it came out more like a shrill scream. “Lance, YOU’RE BLEEDING!”

Once the man finally blinked, all he could do was hang his mouth open in terror at the thick blood rivulets cascading from fresh slices on his fingers and palm. Keith thought nothing of using his own towel to escort Lance to the kitchen sink and press snugly into his injured hand.

“Oh my God! I just caught your knife in mid-air!” Lance screamed jumpily with the revelation and Keith urged him to hold still, swallowing guilt that spread as quickly as Lance’s blood soaked the rag.

“Hey, what’s with the screaming…WHOA!”

Keith looked up in time to find Hunk stumbling backwards with his eyes covered. And Shay followed behind her man, who concealed her eyes with his other hand.

Shiro stepped in with the most bewildered twitch in his face and voice, “Lance, what happened?! Why are you bleeding so much and why is Keith…”?

“In his birthday suit?” Hunk finished, still self-blinded.

Keith felt a draft before bringing his attention to the rest of his surroundings. Lance quickly swiped his hooded bomber jacket from a chair with his free hand and covered him from the waist down.

“I got this, alright?! Just go get ready!” he nudged with his shoulder.

“Shiro, can you close the damn door?!” Keith clenched his teeth with a mess of scarlet brightening his cheeks. He ducked away to this room just as his brother blocked Katie and Allura’s entry with a polite, yet militant guard. 

=====

Lance kindly found some Natalie Merchant to play for Keith while everyone surrounded the kitchen table. Keith’s measly bag from earlier had been tossed in the pantry, making room for an eighteen-inch sheet cake with lactose-free ice cream and some beers; traditional and flavored. But Lance caught wind of the snack cakes inside and took one for himself while removing the top and feeding the other to Kosmo.

“So you thought Lance was an intruder?” Shiro asked Keith with his chin perched into his hand, then turned his head with a soft frown to Lance, “And why would you take that risk?”

Hunk leaned back casually, “At first I legit thought Keith was going to say he mistook you for a bat.”

Lance wheezed into a spirited cackle and nearly choked on his orange juice while teetering against Keith, “I will never, _ever_ forget that!”

“Are you guys talking about that day months ago when you tried to hit some bat that flew in your house and you _missed_. I really wish I had been there!” Katie started to sip a green apple cooler until Shiro skillfully confiscated it. The seventeen-year-old scoffed.

Keith sat his beer down and drilled a warning gaze into the three men, “We are **not** rehashing that, right?!” 

“Nope, not today, birthday boy.” Lance patted him on the back, “But come New Years…”

Hunk took a peach wine cooler from Lance and hoisted it in the air, “Amen to that.”

Lance’s voice was still as tranquil as his demeanor thanks to the aftermath of a few minutes ago. “About why you saw me in class when I was actually _here_ …I _might’ve_ played an audio of a previous class in the background while I leaned against any wall that looked remotely identical to one of the halls.”

“Bravo. Really outdone yourself.” Keith mentioned flatly while sipping a bottle of genuine draft. He was much cozier and drier in black sweats with red thermal shirt, hair tied in a loose bun. Yeah, his birthday was roughly a week from Halloween, but he had no right!

Katie was more impressed with Lance’s act of self-heroism. “You actually caught a knife being hurled at you in real-time?”

“Hurts like a bitch right now…but you wait ‘till these tiger stripes heal.”

Allura shook her head. “Looks like you’ll need stitches. Will you be able to move it during classes?”

“Definitely’ll have to use my recording and speech-to-text functions…” he sighed.

Shiro pinched his nose after exhaling, “ _Again_ , why did you go through the trouble, Lance? You know Keith is not to be easily trifled with.”

“S’posed to be a prank…but an even _better_ question: why didn’t you call the cops, Mr. Half-Dressed Stabber?”

“Because I knew you would come running right back home. I didn’t want you to be stressed. Guess the joke was on me…”

“I’m sorry, alright? Next year I’ll be a little more mature.”

Keith stood up straight, a surge of indignance coursing through him. He announced, “By the way, I have something important to say to those of you who had the misfortune of seeing me in the buff! This is _my_ house! If I wanna walk around without _hair_ , I will!”

A wave of silence answered him.

“Like, bald?” Lance squinted with his top lip crooked. “Not that you couldn’t rock it, babe. Just imagining it…”

“You know what I’m imagining? How that cake tastes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They smacked lips with a smile, then Lance was off in pursuit of a lighter. Keith agreed with whatever orchestrated fate that this was a birthday for the record books.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ❤


End file.
